Miss America 2011: Puppets En Pointe

I’ve been too busy to blog. I apologize if this has caused you to miss out on useless news that you usually use as material to talk about with your co-workers at the water cooler.

We must talk about Miss America’s train wreck of a talent competition. If you haven’t heard - it was a gosh darn prime-time circus. While the talent portion was happening, the Miss America producers stole the VH1 pop-up video idea and popped up delicious factoids about each lady at the bottom of the screen. Some of my favorites: Loves cheesecake! Is a princess in a village in Cameroon! Inspired by Shari Lewis! Can raise chickens, grow corn, and plow a field.

I think my personal pop-up blurbs would go something like: Took 4 years of Spanish and only remembers the words for animals! Has used her coffee pot 4 times! Can't keep a pair of matching socks to save her life! Once embarassed herself in a cardio groove class so bad she was asked to "dance" her way out the door!

But, back to the talent competition -

Exhibit A: One of the brainy beauties channeled Shari Lewis and decided that ventriloquism would be the best way to capture America’s hearts. Yeah, this chick walked on stage in a sequined red pantsuit holding two puppets. You can’t make this stuff up. The pageant took place in Vegas, so maybe she was hoping to establish herself as an act on the strip if this Miss America thing didn’t work out. Get ready to cringe!



Exhibit B: Miss Delaware (Hi, we're in Delaware) completely ripped off Center Stage. I mean this girl didn’t even make a secret about it, same song, same fire engine red toe shoes – everything was there. Well besides Cooper Nielsen, a Harley and the talent.



Exhibit C:
Some other highlights of the competition were a giant average ballerina. An uncomfortable 3 minutes of watching a nod to Michael Flatley’s Riverdance and an awkward rendition of “Papa Was a Rolling Stone.” Not sure if I’d pick a song about a deadbeat dad to charm the nation but hey, to each his own.

I can’t believe I couldn’t find the videos. What is wrong with America that no one has posted these on the internets?