Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Downtown Crossing Dreams


Photo: WBUR

Oh, Downtown Crossing, I’m so sick of you and the boring ideas everyone has to develop you.

Why is everyone pretending they want Downtown Crossing turned into a wannabe Burlington Mall? Whole Foods, Trader Joes & Nordstrom – BLAHHH. Aren’t there enough of these around town already? I’m starting to think avocados should actually cost $3 a piece and that every meal I eat should be served from a salad bar. My life is becoming a mid-level Vegas buffet.

Speaking of Vegas, Downtown Crossing is already the armpit of Boston, why don’t we just settle this Casino debate in Massachusetts already? The downstairs of the vacant Borders looks like it was made for slot machines. Am I right? I’ll tell you one thing I wouldn’t mind doing on my lunch hour – gambling. A chance to escape from my cubicle hell everyday with free drinks and 25-cent slots! Sign me up.


It's like it was made for slot machines.

Could a packed strip sprinkled with a Hooters, Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., Dave & Busters, a wax museum and an ESPN Sports Zone be any worse than what we’ve been looking at for the past decade?

Or how about going total Coney Island style camp? Imagine a sick Dream Machine arcade glistening under the shadow of a half-assed amusement park. Maybe even rip up the concrete, truck in some sand and throw down a nice little Boardwalk. Washington Street is halfway there, the concrete boulevard is already peppered with street meat and t-shirt stands.


Photo: WiredNY

All we’ll need is to add a few hot dog carts, a roller-skating rink and a bowling alley. Wet Seal, Payless, Tello’s, Foot Locker, Rainbow, the pen store on Bromfield – they can all stay. We’ll just add in a few fancier boutiques a la Frederick’s of Hollywood, Hot Topic and maybe even a Piercing Pagoda. The place would be a mecca of trashy shopping.

The city could even make a few bucks off of Downtown Xings current apocalypse aesthetic. The place already resembles a warzone; it would make a perfect paintball or laser tag course.

But really, can’t we just forget about the Filenes legacy altogether and finish bulldozing the eyesore and plant some freaking grass. Would that be so awful?


Note: Thanks to Dan, Chris, Laura & Amber for your colorful commentary. 

2 comments:

  1. I suggest a Water Park. A place for the homeless to bathe!

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  2. The last thing I really need is to hit a hot streak with 5 minutes left on my lunch break. But I could go for some pinball at the Dream Machine!

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